It's recently occurred to me that many single men don't know how to be a true bachelor. Many either maintain themselves in excess of necessity or cross the boundary between being a bachelor and being a fucking slob. Thus, I have prepared some helpful tips, some from personal experience, some from the goons at www.somethingawful.com, in order to educate my fellow man.
1. You can make McDonalds egg patties like on an Egg McMuffin by cracking an egg into an empty ramen noodle cup and microwaving it for 90 seconds.
2. Why should your dog be the only one allowed to pee in the back yard?
3. Beer in the shower. Just do it, you'll thank me later.
4. Remember the poncho Clint Eastwood wore in Fistful of Dollars? That's a snuggie for cool people. Get one for smoking in the cold or cooking bacon without a shirt.
Now go fourth and use this knowledge wisely and for the Lord's work.